I know what you're thinking--why doesn't he just call it a memorial service? Well, it really didn't feel like a memorial service. People--perhaps 250 of us!--were happy, though there were lots and lots of tears. There was great food and drink, there were interesting new people to meet, and the setting--in John and Sharon's garden--was rural Centre County at its best.
Anyway, here, thanks to the magic of cut and paste, are the notes for my remarks. John McCarthy was quite adamant about us sticking to a four minute speech, which of course no one did. Well, perhaps the guy who wrote the bit of doggerel, but he would have been the only one. The twenty-three eulogies ranged from quite serious to amusing, and the speakers came from all eras of Sharon's life.
Of course, in person, you get the ad-libbed Rick-isms that you don't get here. So you have to imagine me tripping up the step to the podium, or, of course, laughing at my own jokes.
I think it might be easier to
bring lasting peace to the Middle East than to sum up Sharon in four minutes.
I met Sharon in 1999 shortly
after I joined the staff of the Arts Festival —Sharon was the committee chair
for our gallery exhibition, Images and we met to hang the show. Sharon provided
the brains and aesthetic judgment and while I did the toting, hammering, and
lifting, as well as being in charge of causing any industrial accident we were
going to have.
It didn’t take Sharon and me long to figure out that we
really enjoyed each other's company.
As our friendship blossomed,
Sharon told me about her life, from her Lancaster county roots to living in
California, to her time in Washington, DC, and then back to here to Pennsylvania.
If something interesting was
happening, Sharon was there, like Zelig, the Woody Allen character:
Wearing a bikini to register
voters on Santa Monica beach? Check.
At the Ambassador Hotel
when Bobby Kennedy was shot? Check
Successful retailer in Washington
DC? Check.
Democrat with a capital D and serial wife? Check and check again.
Oh, and the most unlikely and
therefore coolest thing of all. High school majorette.
Sharon wasn’t just some
Pennsylvania Dutch version of Dame Edna Everage, dishing about all the
important people she knew. Sharon was interested in me too, hearing about my
life, listening to my opinions—political and otherwise, laughing at my jokes.
That’s why Sharon was a great friend--not because she had an interesting life,
but because she was interested in all of our lives.
Somewhere along the line, Sharon
told me about her former friend Rita Jenrette. Yes, the Rita Jenrette who told
the world that she DID IT on the steps of the U.S. Capitol with her
congressman husband. Sharon told me that when Rita Jenrette bared all (and I
do mean all) in a spread (so to speak) in Playboy, she and John drove around
Lancaster County looking for the issue when it was hot off the press.
So in order to prepare this
eulogy, I went to Penn State’s Pattee Library and trying to look scholarly,
said to the woman at the help desk, “I'm speaking at a funeral on Saturday, and
so I'm looking for the April 1981 issue of Playboy magazine. The deceased is in
there. In the editorial, I mean."
To which the librarian replied, "You know, we don't get that
question very often."
She very professionally looked up the call number for me and told me how to find the microfilms
room.
So yes, there in the April 1981
issue of Playboy was Famous Congressional Ex-Wife Rita Jenrette showing all and telling all, including getting a little snarky—without naming names—about
Sharon and her hot tub. As veteran of Sharon and John’s hospitality, I know
that if Rita Jenrette didn’t have fun in Sharon’s tub it was because she didn’t
know how to have fun. Even if she did boink the old ball and chain on the Capitol steps.
And as a former heterosexual, I
checked out the other parts of that April issue. In case you were wondering, Miss
April’s turn offs included taking down the Christmas tree. Apparently she was
good to go the other 364 days of the year.
And, in 1981, a Brazilian was still someone who lived in that really big
country in South America.
Some years after we met, Sharon
joined the Arts Festival’s Board of Directors and she and John sponsored a prize for
an artist showing wearable fiber. She
was a key figure in the success of our Silent Auction, an important fundraising
event. Sharon’s retailing genius and her ability to throw a backyard storage
barn, a bunch of low end art and craft items, fabric, and staples together and
make it look like Nordstrom was to me proof that deep down inside of her, there
was a drag queen trying to get out.
Did I mention that she was a
majorette?
I could go on and on about
Sharon—she was absolutely one of my favorite people, but as any of my friends
will tell you, I don’t do feelings. In the interest of brevity, I’ll just say
she was thoughtful and caring and bright and funny, and a helluva lot of fun,
hot tub or no hot tub.
In summing up Sharon’s life, I’m
reminded of another artist, Sir Christopher Wren, one of England’s most
celebrated architects. Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly who you were thinking of
right about now. Among other things Wren designed St. Paul’s Cathedral in
London, where his tomb bears this epitaph:
LECTOR SI MONUMENTUM REQUIRIS
CIRCUMSPICE
"Reader if you seek his monument,
look around."
Today, if we seek Sharon’s
monument, look around. Sharon’s love and affection for John, her family: the
countless thoughtful things she did for an army of friends both present and
absent, in good times and bad, this lovely home, garden; and even this party,
her monument is right here for all of us to see. We are her monument. Bricks and
mortar will eventually crumble, but our love for Sharon, and her impact on us,
will remain forever.
Readers should also know that below the conservative navy blazer were your green cocktail-embroidered "party pants," which gave everyone a clue of what to expect once you took the mic.
ReplyDeleteEveryone should have a eulogy this lovely...and thoughtful...and hilarious! I'm sure Sharon was smiling down from somewhere as you spoke.
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