So what have I been up to since the Penn State Homecoming parade?
A&P. I bought pot from my roommate, the barefoot Mao-ist econ major with a serious but endearing stammer. It was much more convenient than the A&P, if much less legal.
Monticello. I shouldn’t have been that surprised that the football building is the glitzy-est building on the Penn State campus. Everything is new and shiny and about ten minutes old.
J. C. Leyendecker illustration. I didn't share this amazing art historical insight with any of my buddies on the tour, though some of them probably knew J. C. Leyendecker personally.
We were herded (slowly, the Quarterback Club-ers are not a speedy bunch) into the auditorium where Penn State Head Football Coach James Franklin spoke to us briefly and pointed out the actual chair that Christian Hackenberg sat in for team meetings. We were then treated to a super secret recruiting film that though it was nice, didn’t make me want to play football for Penn State. (Hey, I have eligibility remaining!) It was, however, better than The Red Balloon, French “featurette” which holds the distinction of being the world’s longest four-minute film. Anyone who sees it can tell you that thing lasts for hours.
We also saw the terrace where the Athletic Department holds extra special al fresco events, the kind of al fresco events that Donald Trump would be attend, as long as he didn't have to sit next to a Syrian refugee or Rosie O'Donnell.
There were huge inspirational banners hung from the walls urging us to have a POSITIVE ATTITUDE and WORK ETHIC and COMPETE and SACRIFICE.
Joseph Stalin’s Five Year Plan written by someone who never learned about parallel construction in English class.
Fortunately, this was the last stop on the tour and none of our fellow tourists had to be carted off to Koch Funeral Home…which could have happened had it lasted much longer. It was great, albeit slow, fun. However, I was left wondering if this is what college football facilities look like, what do NFL facilities look like?
Sexiest Man Alive. Presumably this is what Shakespeare was talking about when he had Hamlet yammer on and on about the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
model railroad club and it's worth the trip to Lewistown just to see the club's display. There are two rooms each with a large and elaborate train layout, on which, at least when I was there, several trains were running.
Avalon Clamshell Toss, but it’s getting there.
Gertrude Stein’s expression, no there there.
In lieu of waiting for the next unit in the parade to come by--frankly, I thought not only Godot, but Jesus would appear first--my chums and I tried to go to the bar at the Congress Hall for our traditional after the parade drink. Alas and alack, everyone else in Cape May had the same idea. The hotel was a madhouse, right down to the line for the men's room in the basement. It might have been possible to get waited upon by Christmas, but I wouldn’t have bet on it. We left Cape May and headed back to Stone Harbor and Fred’s Tavern for our restorative beverages.
Wildwood Boardwalk, which, in December, still retains its creepy Diane Arbus quality.
And that was OK, because if it had been a virgin birth, or someone explaining the secret of Donald Trump's hair, I'd have been woefully unprepared. I hadn't brought any gold, frankincense, or myrrh. Everyone knows that you need to take a gift to an occasion like that.
After that weekend at the shore, there were a few weeks of fretting about holiday shopping but not doing it, followed by Christmas and time spent in the bosom of my family.
At my sister's house, this year, it looked like this:
And once Christmas is done, it’s time for First Night State College.
After First Night…the Pennsylvania Farm Show is upon us. This was the 100th Farm Show, so I think the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture put a little extra zip into it.
the man who invented the individually wrapped cheese slice?
Star Barn? The barn is being moved to a new site so that it can be used as a wedding venue. I'm not sure if that's progress, but at least it's not being demolished. Unfortunately, the booth babes (and I use the term in a non gender-specific manner) didn't know much about the barn, though they knew plenty about catering weddings.
Miss Teen Rodeo New Jersey and Miss Rodeo New Jersey...visiting from The Garden State. These are actual women and not drag performers. At least I’m pretty sure about that. Don’t quote me. They weren’t that impressed when I told them that, in true New Jersey fashion, that as a very part time resident of New Jersey I was Exit 10 on the Parkway. They put in a plug for Cowtown Rodeo in Salem County, which I actually knew about, though I’d never stopped. Hmmm...a future blog post, perhaps?
Bedford Springs Hotel to a leadership institute and trying to ignore the grim weather reports from Stone Harbor. I highly recommend it as a place in which to get almost snowed in, though paying four bucks for a tube of Chapstick in the hotel's gift and sundry shoppe almost killed me. Fortunately drinks in the bar were reasonably priced--not that I'm a price shopper when it comes to my nightcap.